Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The future is a big place...

Have you ever read some famous persons story where they say they reached a certain age and then they just knew what they were gonna be when they were old and wondered how do they know that? How did they know that that was what they were mean't to be?

Well thats how I am feeling right now. I used to know exactly what I wanted to be when I was older but they someone put that doubt in my mind. They said to me that they didn't think I would be good at that and now I doubt that what I want to be is what I am suppose to be. As I said to my friend once:

The Doctor has change the way I see the world and the way I live my life. He has shown me that theres more to the world then I thought before. That my life has more meaning. That I might not be able to save every life but if I could just save 1 or 2 then my life was worth it. The way I want to die is saving the life of someone. Thats the best way to die, expesially if its a stranger that you don't know very well. Please try and understand. The future is all I have at the moment. If like was a game I think I would have lost by now but lifes not a game. Imagine it like there were a series of paths and with more paths coming of them and every choice you make is a new path, I think at some point I make the wrong choice. I know what I want from life but I don't know how to get it. I'm not scared of dieing, I'm scared of going the wrong way on the path of life.

I guess thats all I really know about where I want to go with my future.

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